Perry the Platypus
by Ramonks33
Summary: They're watching Phineas and Ferb. Tony wants to be Phineas. Bruce wants to be Ferb. And they want dear, disaproving Clint, to be Perry the Platypus. CURRENTLY ON HIATUS
1. Tony's list

Perry the Platypus

**A/N: Check this out if you love Phineas and Ferb, and the AVENGERS!I don't own Phineas and Ferb, nor the Avengers  
**

Natasha woke up to the sound of a strange, almost buzzing sound coming from the TV. She sighed. She knew Tony loved to turn up the volume when watching T.V

She got out of bed, put a robe on and walked out to Stark Tower's HQ room, where the sound came from. When she did get there, she had to stifle a laugh.

Tony, Steve, and Bruce were watching Phineas and Ferb. Laughing. As if they were kids again. Natasha watched as they chatted animatedly on whom would be who, if the Avengers were Phineas and Ferb:

"I think I'd be Phineas-"  
"With _your_ attitude, I think Buford!"  
"No way! You, Brucie should be Ferb"  
"Once I think about-"  
"Shut it Steve"

"So anyways, Bruce, would you like to see if we can-"  
"Recreate the lost-"  
"Shut up, Steve, I was talking to Bruce"  
"Why so quiet Bruce?"

This is where Natasha decided to intervene. She cleared her throat, and said in her cutest, happiest voice, like Isabella on the show.

"What'cha doing?"  
Tony whipped his head around and looked around the room for the source of the sound. He saw Natasha, but kept looking. Bruce widened his eye, at how stupid Tony was. Steve just blushed, for some reason, unknown.

"It's me Tony, you idiot"

He looked at Natasha, as if seeing her in a new light. He widened his eyes and laughed.

"Oh boy Nat, you scared me! I didn't know you were capable of being _that _cute." He winked in response. She rolled her eyes as another voice joined the conversation.

"Nobody calls her "Nat" or "cute" but me." Natasha whipped her head around to see a pair of bright, blue crystal eyes. Clint. She smiled and kissed him on the cheek. He laughed and decided to put his arm around her. He looked at the other Avengers in the room. Tony and Bruce were unfazed by their PDA, whereas Steve had already turned away.

"Morning' Perry! Was wondering where you were!" Tony smiled and said. Clint frowned in confusion. He looked at Natasha for explanation, but she just shrugged and giggled. He saw the T.V playing _Phineas and Ferb_.

"Me and the guys, here" Tony gestured around to Steve and Bruce "Were discussing who would be who on this interesting show right here. We decided, me, as the handsome Phineas; Bruce as the quiet Ferb and you, my dear friend, as Perry the Platypus"

Clint looked at him in confusion, his mouth opening with no words coming out. It seemed he couldn't get his words out. When he finally did:

"I will not be, nor will I ever be. A. Platypus"

Tony smirked.

"It kind of fits Clint, Hawkeye, Platypus..." Bruce said, in fact, what he said for awhile. He waved his arms for exaggeration.

"No. Platypus can't fly. And they are the only mammals that lay eggs. Hawks are very, VERY different from Platypus. And I will never, ever, be a platypus.

He walked out of the room in a huffing response.

"We'll see about that" Tony said. Natasha sighed. She knew Tony wouldn't rest until he makes Clint, a platypus

* * *

Steve was walking around STARK tower, bored out of his mind. He was walking through the kitchen, when something caught his eye. He picked up the paper, signed with a Stark signature, and at the top of the paper it said:

HOW TO MAKE HAWKEYE TURN INTO PERRY THE PLATYPUS

1. Inject him with platypus genes  
2. Strap him down and make him watch 8 hour marathon of Phineas and Ferb  
3. Force him into a "Perry the platypus" costume  
4. Pretend to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz and see if he turns into "Agent P"  
5. Get Fury to put on a mustache and monobrow, and make him pretend to be "Major Monogram"

The list stretched on, for at least a ten other ways. Steve sighed and left, knowing this couldn't end well


	2. 1 Inject him with platypus genes

Perry the Platypus

**PercyJacksonTheAwesome,DodgersMutant, Goddess of Jasper, alleycat2834, Liltrin45..and Guest reviewer! I thank you all!**

_A/N: I'm doing the list in order...suggestions on how to make Clint a platypus are VERY, VERY WELCOME_

_ 1. Inject him with platypus genes_

That night, in Stark tower, Hawkeye made a very horrible, life changing decision. He decided to NOT lock his door at night

Which made it much easier then Tony thought it would be, to sneak into his room, and inject him with a needle, full of platypus DNA he extracted from Bruce's pet platypus...which on second thought...why did Bruce have a platypus?

Tony shook his head from the thought as he slowly inserted the needle under Hawkeye's skin, and into his body. Clint murmured and for a second Tony thought he was going to wake up. But merely, Clint mumbled and his face relaxed, back to normal. He sighed in relief, as he pushed down the plunger and injected the platypus genes into him. As soon as the proper amount had been dispensed, Tony carefully took the needle out, packed his stuff up, patched Clint's skin up, and ran for his room.

Hawkeye, didn't hold the record for the world's best memory, which is why when he saw his bandaged arm, he simply thought he had received it from a quarrel with the guys. He smiled and stretched, when he noticed something interesting. His ankle, whenever he put pressure on it, leaked out some...liquid. It reminded him of the slime monster, how that happened. Clint simply thought he had another cut, which was leaking that gross liquid that's not blood, and walked downstairs. He had settled himself with a cup of coffee, and had heard other people coming downstairs. His eyes, widened in fear, and hid behind the counter. He didn't know why he needed to do that...he just felt as though it was instinct. He stayed behind there, as Natasha walked downstairs and settled herself with some tea. He wanted to talk to her, to talk to hid baby, but he couldn't. He didn't want to come out...

Later, when all the Avengers came downstairs, Clint had finally managed to battle that weird force that was making him act like this. As soon as breakfast was over, he stated "Can we go to the beach today?"

Everyone looked at him, as though he was Loki. Tony held back a laugh as he said "Why not? It's a free day, and I could use a break!"

Everyone agreed with Tony, Steve and Thor a little half-heartedly and half an hour later, they were packed in a limo on the way to the beach. Clint was so excited...he felt the need to...dive and dive and dive. But he needed to wait for the other Avengers. As soon as they fell(literally, fell, as they were so packed that when Steve opened the door, they all literally fell onto the sand) out of the car, Bruce let his platypus roam on the beach, smiling happily as it leaped its way towards the salty water. Surprisingly, to all the Avengers, Clint followed the platypus and when they finally suited up for the beach(except Clint, who decided his board shorts would be all he would wear for the day) Clint had dived in the water and spun in the water for at the very least, 120 times. Natasha giggled, she had never seen Clint enjoy himself so much. Bruce, however, was narrowing his eyes at Tony. Bruce had had his pet platypus for enough to know platypus behavior. As they were tanning on the beach(Natasha had joined Clint in the water, Thor had decided to try and make a sandcastle with Steve) Bruce leaned over to Tony and murmured "Tony...did you?"

Tony smirked in victory. "Look it up Brucie dear, it's not illegal, and we can have it extracted as soon as I catch it on tape" he said, holding up his phone as Clint dived underwater with Natasha, holding her hand.

That night, while Clint was sleeping, Bruce snuck into his room this time, and extracted the platypus DNA from Clint. He sighed, wiping his forehead as the last of the DNA was taken from Clint. He had brought his platypus with him, and when he had finally settled himself in bed, he realised, he left the platypus.

The next morning, Clint woke up to a pair of brown animal eyes staring at him. "BRUCE!" he screamed. He jumped out of bed and picked up the platypus. He walked towards Bruce at the breakfast table and screamed "What is this?!"

Tony smirked, and replied as he drank his coffee

"Obvious isn't it? We found Perry"

**Platypus behavior is described as shy, and loves the water. So..that explains Clint? REVIEW PLEASEEE!**


	3. 8 hours of Phineas and Ferb

Perry the PlatypuS  
Chapter 2!

**A/N: Thank you to my reviewers! Dead-Knight-of-Darkness, Arrows the Wolf, Fairykind, PercyJacksonTheAwesome and Kai! And Kai, yes I will take that for suggestion! I have a reason now, thanks to my AWESOME cousins in the Phillipines, why Bruce would have a platypus! But I can't say...yet**

Bruce rushed over and picked up the platypus, petting his head softly. "I'm sorry Clint! He might've wandered from his room! I'm sorry!"

Clint nodded. "It's fine, besides, he's kinda cute, aren't you little fella?" He said, while scratching the platypus' head. The platypus made a slight _grrr'ing_ noise in content. Bruce smiled and began to walk to his lab, murmering to himself to put another lock on the platypus's door. As he walked downstairs, Tony sipped his coffee. He had gotten away with it, and Clint still hasn't found out. Yes! He mentally did a fist pump to the air. And smiled as Natasha entered the room, and looked creepily at Clint. Clint mistook this for a smile and kissed her cheek. She instantly relaxed and left, holding his hand, as they talked about some new spy gear SHIELD had given them.

* * *

Tony, checked left to right, to make sure nobody is coming, then whipped out a paper from his pocket. The list. He looked over the list and checked off the first one:

1. Inject him with platypus genes

2. Strap him down and make him watch an 8 hour marathon of Phineas and Ferb

3. Force him into a "Perry the Platypus" costume"

4. Pretend to be and see if he turns into Perry the Platypus

5. Get Fury to put on a mustache and pretend to be Major Monogram

Tony paused, scratching his head with his pen, before adding:

6. Make him wear a fedora

7. Feed him maggots, and whatever the hell platypie eat

A sudden voice pulled Tony out of his thoughts. It was Bruce. And he didn't look too happy."Hi there Brucie" he said, smirking.

"Tony. We need to talk. NOW" Bruce said, emphasising the "now" part. Tony shrugged and followed. Once they were in the living room, free of ear-shot of anybody, Bruce rounded on him

"What do you think you're doing?! Trying to turn him into a platypus!" he said, seething with anger. Bruce didn't think that it was fair, Clint didn't know about the risks and attempts. Tony shrugged

"Well, what do you suggest I do? Release a PSA about it?"

Bruce sighed. "No I just like it if you'd stop"

Tony smirked and began to walk away "No promises old Brucie"

Bruce yelled to the departing billionaire's back "I'm warning you Tony! If anything causes permanent damage-"

"Don't worry, I got his insurance plan prepared." Tony yelled back, then put on the fake smile he put on for the press "Only if he dies"

Clint was worried. Stark tower had been extremely quiet. No Nat, falling out of the vent;No Stark, flaunting his money; No Rogers, acting extremely awkward; No Thor, swinging his hammer, or Bruce with his weird platypus. Nothing. He was walking to the kitchen when he heard a sudden voice "Psst, Clint"

He looked up and saw Nat, his beautiful flame, in the vent, dangling a rope to him. He smiled and climbed up the rope. Had he climbed up a minute later, he would have been seen by a certain Tony Stark. She smiled to him and whispered "Clint...Tony is planning something"

"What is he planning? Something to get more ladies?" he asked. He chuckled to himself, what a lame joke. But judging by Natasha's look, she didn't seem amused

"No, something more serious. Follow me" she stated, and begun to crawl. He shrugged and followed her. Anything for her. As he crawled, the serious look on her face made him wonder, she only had that look when she was on an assassin mission...Clint smiled as he remembered, years ago, she had that exact look on her face when he saw her. The charmingly beautiful red headed woman...but Clint was pulled out of his thoughts. She looked down, to the room under the vent. She whispered "Stark is planning something"

"When isn't he planning something" retorted Hawkeye. He fell silent under her beautiful stone cold gaze. She cleared her throat "I can't go down there, but you can"

"Why me?" he asks. He knew she'd do better then him on this mission, but he wondered why she didn't want to do it herself.

"Please Clint? I have a headache today, and the fumes in the room makes my head spin. Please?" she asks. She gives him a quick peck on the cheek. He smiled and threw the rope down into the room. He'd do anything for her. As he slid down, he realised, Nat was right. It did make her head spin. And it was making his head spin as well. His feet fell on the cool tile floor, and suddenly, he received a blow to the head. His head spun. He turned to pepper-spray the attacker, but quickly his legs gave out

* * *

He wakes up, and the room is dark. He realised his arms are tied to the chair. This was no unfamiliar scene to Clint. He's been in scenes like this many times before. But, as he struggled with the extension cords, there was something creepy. He realised this, as the TV in front of him turned on. He gasped. Oh no. Not this! He struggled even harder as the Phineas and Ferb theme song played. He struggled for 8 hours straight. As soon as the 8 hours were up, he passed out from constant struggling and he fell, the growling of Perry the Platypus in his ears

As Tony heard Clint pass out in the lab, he smiled. Two ideas down, 6 more to go

**I'm sorry for the sucky chapter! Please don't kill me! But I do appreciate reviews. And school is starting for me soon...Ugh**


	4. Comic Con Costume

Perry the Platypus

Chapter 3! Or 4, whatever.

**A/N: Hi guys! Thanks to the reviewers again...though this story needs help! LIKE SOON! PLEASE SEND IN MORE SUGGESTIONS ON HOW TO MAKE CLINT A PLATYPUS! Thanks to PercyJacksonTheAwesome, Arrows the Wolf, Lupin fan 1 and Happy-nerd!**

#3 Force him into a Perry the Platypus costume

The local cartoon convention had started up again. Meaning, It gave Tony a opportunity to initiate the third item on the list: Force him into a Perry the Platypus costume.

It was a night of truth or dare, and the team was gathered in the local shawarma place. Tony has insisted they make truth or dare night there, to make things much more interesting. As Bruce sat down, he could only ponder on why Tony would want to come here. Unless it was to make Clint a platypus again. As the Avengers settled, Tony's famous smirk came onto his face. He knew Clint would back out of no dare, he's definitely proved that when a drunken Steve, previously, had dared him to go running around Harlem, yelling "I'M A HAWK!" and make cawing noises. Unfortunately, they got into some legal trouble when Clint scared the hell out of a little girl, and she thought Loki was back..._sigh_

So anyways, they sat at their favorite table, that was now reserved for the Avengers, which means, it's right next to the order counter, and they were now allowed their weapons with them, to attack. This shawarma joint had been robbed before, and now, the Avengers were allowed to suit up with the weapons to defend the shawarma joint. Tony claims he only protects it because if they went broke, they'd have to stop making shawarma, but really, the Avengers knew Tony really liked to flirt with the girl who took the orders.

Once they placed their usual orders, and Thor had smashed two glasses of water, Tony got down to business. "Alright guys! It's truth or dare night!" This was answered witch crinkles of paper, and chewing. They were eating, so most of them nodded, or looked at Tony. Natasha narrowed her eyes, smelling something funny. Thor realised, it was him as he had ordered extra onions on his shawarma.

"Hey Legolas. Truth or dare?" he said, staring at Hawkeye. Hawkeye looked up, and that familiar glint of his eyes, of defiance and skill, flashed. "Dare" he said, his mouth full of shawarma, smiling all the while

"Alright. Tomorrow is the Comic con. We're all going. I dare you to dress as Perry the Platypus" Tony stated, and Clint spit out the shawarma, all over Steve. He quickly apologized, then looked at Tony. "Are you serious?" he nearly yelled, alarming the waitress. Tony nodded and laughed

"What...?" said Thor, really confused. Why was the man of Iron daring the Man with an eye like a hawk, to dress as a...perry? Thor shook his head in confusion, the odd Midgardians

Bruce facepalmed. Of course. Stark would use the worlds most obvious tactic to intiate the next phase. He rolled his eye, as Clint flushed, realising he'd have to get a platypus costume

The next day, at Comic Con, the Avengers entered the center, dressed in their costumes. Natasha had gone as Merida, from Brave. She borrowed Clint's bow and arrows, and added extensions, to create a look similar to the princess. Tony had gone as Nick Fury, just to piss him off. He wore an eyepatch, and the cloak, and walked around, carrying a gun. This was very unamusing to Fury, who then saw the photo. Thor, walked in, as a prince, his "crown" placed upon his head. Thor was unamused, to be told that prince's don't dress like he did in Asgard. Bruce had gone as Professor Xavier. He had...erm..."borrowed" a wheelchair from the store, and wore a bald cap, waving at everyone who asked if he knew the professor personally. Steve, unfortunately, wasn' t the only one a victim to Tony's costume dare. He walked in, with a red cape, and an "S" on his chest. You guessed it. As Superman. He received wolf whistles from passerbyers, but his embarrasement couldn't even match Clint's, as Clint walked in, dressed in a Perry the Platypus costume. He sent a glare to Tony, who couldn't see because Clint was on the bad side of Tony. Meaning, to whatever direction Tony had the eyepatch on

An hour later, Fury received a text, including a photo, from Stark. He rolled his eye, and gave a glare with his one eye, as he saw the Avengers all dressed up at Comic Con, and Stark pointing his gun at a kid dressed as Iron man

**Sorry! For the waiting! REVIEWsS?**


	5. Dr Doofenshmirtz

Perry the Platypus chapter 5!

**I LOVE YOU REVIEWERS! I love you so much, and am so thankful, as it is Thanksgiving where I live, NEW CHAPER TIME!**

**Thank you to Fallenqueen2, Arrow the Wolf, The Queen Gypsy, PercyJacksonTheAwesome( I LOVE YOU VERY MUCH) StoryGirl.98**

**HERE WE GO!**

Tony, reliving the day's event, sat at his desk quietly, leaning back and posting the famous Stark smile that the world had seen many times. He pulled out the list and checked off the first three:

1. Inject him with platypus genes

2. Strap him down and make him watch 8 hours of Phineas and Ferb

3. Force him into a Perry the Platypus

4. Pretend to be Dr. Doofenshmirtz and see if he acts like Perry the Platypus

5. Get Fury to put on a mustache and pretend to be Major Monogram

6. Make him wear a fedora

7. Feed him maggots and whatever the hell platypie eat

Tony scratched his head, and as about to write another one when Pepper walked in. "Hey Tony, how was Comic C-?

She stopped talking and looked at the paper on Tony's desk. She raised an eyebrow as if to ask, but before she could, Tony said "Ask and you'll out of here faster than you can say "Avenger"

She looked as though she wouldn't mind being fired, but instead turned on her heel and walked away, her heel scuffing the wooden polished floor of Tony's floor. He sighed in relief. If Pepper had found out what he was doing, she would've set a 24/7 guard on him. As if JARVIS wasn't doing his job

He got up, and decided to take the night off, slack off until tomorrow morning, and he departed into his room, leaving his desk unguarded. He had left the door open to his office, so when he woke up, JARVIS telling him his papers had been...rewritten, he dressed at top speed and ran to the desk. Finding there, in a different handwriting and in a different pen color, two more suggestions:

8. Create a virtual greenroom and make the Avengers pretend to be the characters on the show and see if he adapts to it

9. Push Clint into the platypie exhibit and see if he adapts to their ways

Tony picked up his paper, and shook his head. Course someone found out! He left his door open! Well, he couldn't say he was sorry he was. These were some pretty good suggestions. He wouldn't have thought of it himself.

It had been two weeks since the Comic Con business, and Clint's suspicion of Tony's intentions had died down. So that's when Tony decided it was time to execute option 4. He was going to need his makeup team, a voice modifier, and a wig. And a contractor to make his...lair. He decided he would build it on Stark Tower, just disguise it as a Purple and green building.

* * *

Clint ran at top speed, and dodging the buildings that came his way. Nick had sent him on this mission, a simple mission at first, but now he was dead serious at it. The mission had seemed to be a joke, until Nick mentioned the enemy had overpowered Natasha. Now things were getting serious. Clint made his way to the suspected building, a purple and green building. He used his bow and arrow, the shaft of the arrow instead was a grappling hook and the arrow flew up and hooked onto the banister of the window. Climbing up, nothing was going to stop him from reaching Natasha. He climbed up and into the window, into a dark room. He unattached the arrow and loaded a sharp arrow. Just as he was about to call out a warning, he felt something hit his head, and fell

He woke up, with a searing pain in the back of the head. His vision as slightly woozy but he could still hear crystal clear, and he heard the European accent, that said "Perry the Platypus, how...unusual it is to see you"

Clint shook his head, and saw, vaguely, a hunchbacked man with scarecrow hair. He tried to focus and yell a threat, but all he could say what "Where is Natasha?!"

"I'M OVER HERE!" Natasha yelled from the sidelines, not believing Stark had made her do this. The only reason she was is because Tony had seen her and Clint...erm...Well, alone in a room, lets say, for you younger audiences

"NAT!" he yelled, and he glared at the figure, as his vision became clearer...and he saw Nat was perfectly fine, and realised...It was Tony!

"STARK! WHAT THE HELL IS THIS!?" he yelled, rattling the bars of the cage. He begins moving for his bow and arrow, and loads it. "You know Stark, for a smart-ass, you really are stupid"

Tony tried to hide the sweat creeping down his back, as he knew Clint could easily murder him. He looked to Natasha for help, but instead, he heard "Better run now Stark"

"Right. Running" he said, and began to sprint for the door. He reached it, but not before getting an arrow to the knee.

Natasha rolled her eyes as Tony groaned on the floor in pain and walked over and unlocked the cage. Clint hugged her tightly, and laughed "Let me guess. Stark blackmailed you?"

"Yea" she said, smiling and kissed him, as Tony passed out

**THERE WE GO. DONE!**


	6. Fury is Major Monogram?

Perry the Platypus, chapter 5!

**A/N: HEYYY GURRRSSS! I'm pretty sick right now, but that means no school and UPDATING FANFICTION! Alright! Here we go! THANK YOU TO: Pergjithshme, Powerin Pink, Elisbell Stark, AnnabelleLee13194, tt, 999, Kai the Brony, writin-noobie (NOW YOU'RE LOOKING AT MY OTHER FICS TOO?!), Arrows the Wolf, and PercyJacksonTheAwesome (YOU NOW HAVE A SPECIAL PLACE IN MY HEART) for reviewing chapter 5! And yes, Tony will receive punishment again...hehehe. AND SUGGESTIONS ARE ALWAYS, ALWAYS WELCOME!**

**5. Get Fury to put on a mustache and monobrow, and make him pretend to be "Major Monogram"**

The press surrounded the NYC Hospital, as a newly recovered Tony Stark wheeled out on a stretcher. The press got up in his face, asking questions on how and why he received this injury

"Mr. Stark, can you tell us how you got an arrow to the knee?"  
"Mr. Stark, who inflicted this upon you?"  
"Mr. Stark, are you going to press charges?"

Tony didn't hear any of these questions, as his head was still spinning and the anesthesia was still working its way out of his system. He grabbed one of the mikes in his face and said "I'm Perry...the Platypus...Hey Bruce...I know what we're going to do today...where's Perry?"

Shortly after this was aired, Tony hid in his room for several weeks, avoiding the new meme that had popped up on the internet. As it was his face when he was still in anesthesia, and said things like  
"I used to be a billionaire, playboy, and philanthropist. Until I got an arrow to the knee"  
"I used to be a billionaire. Now I'm a platypus"

Tony hid in his room, drinking as much alcohol as possible, to hide his shame and embarrassment. Poor Pepper had to handle it all. Leading the press away from Mr. Stark and making excuses on why he was like this. "Oh yes, Mr. Stark has come down with bronchitis, he won't be in until next week"

After a whole month, Tony came out of his state of delusion and embarrassment, and replaced it all with fury **(A/N: I just love word puns...XD) **revenge. Clint had made a fool a him. On national, no wait scratch that, INTERNATIONAL TELEVISION. The whole world has now seen "Tony the Platypus" And Now Clint was going to pay. Tony took it up to Fury, who was still enraged on the issue, saying Stark had disgraced SHIELD for all time  
"Oh calm down Fury. We can just threaten them with the nuclear weapons you guys still have and it'll be done"

"I WILL NOT STAND FOR-wait what?"

"Fury, have you forgotten I am still a genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist?"

Fury stood silent, trying to counter, but he gave up "What do you want Stark?"

"Oh nothing. Just a little favor. You see, it was dear Hawkeye who gave me the injury, therefore, if we trace it to the root of the problem, it was him who caused me to get into the hospital in the first place!"

"So how can I help?"

Tony smirked, and his confidence rising, told Fury what he wanted. Fury was surprisingly, agreeable (Only because Stark blackmailed him) and they managed to bring Coulson in on the plan as well. Tony clapped his hands together and said "Clint, you're going down, down, down"

Clint made his way to SHIELD's director, Fury's office. He had been called there, on a secret assignment that Fury had told him would be too risky to discuss over messages. Clint could only wonder. Fury had only given him an assignment like this once: When he had to take out Natasha. Now he was glad he hadn't taken that assignment too seriously. Entering the office, Clint sat down and waited for Fury

"Agent C, we need you to come in"

Clint looked up. Fury had never called him that, and found him face to face with Fury. Who had a mustache on? And a monobrow. He tried to not laugh as he asked "Umm...Fury...what's with the getup?"

"What? What getup? This is my natural look. You want a problem? Keep asking" Fury said, trying not to faint in embarrassment. He had only done this, because Stark had had photos of him with...erm...someone for you younger audiences. "I'm just saying, how can you stand to where a mustache and a monobrow?" Clint was on the verge of collapsing from laughter, just when the door opened and a fairly embarrassed Coulson entered, wearing glasses and a lab coat. Fury looked at Coulson and said "Carl, we need Agent P out of here"

Clint fell off his chair laughing, this was too hilarious. He laughed his way out of the office (only after dragging himself up to standing position) and out of SHIELD, running out of breath

Tony groaned as he entered the Laundromat. Fury had made him do this, in return for him helping Stark. Tony dreaded as his footsteps neared, that someone would see this. Little did he know, his fellow Avengers were watching outside, holding cameras

"Hi, umm...I'm here to pick up Nick Fury's boxers?"

**Yes. I did. I went there. REVIEWS PLEASE?**


	7. Make him wear a fedora

Perry the Platypus, chapter 6!

**Hey Guys! Sorry for not updating for a long time. I'm sorry, sorry sorry! Thank you to the reviewers again!**

**Arrows the Wolf: Mine too  
PercyJacksontheAwesome: I don't want to say...a little...too...erm...never mind *hides*  
Bobthepegasus: Me too! Hey, maybe Betty can be Vanessa! But Vanessa isn't married...O_o  
TT: I like it when it backfires.  
Kai the Brony: Hehehe...don't forget to mention me as the one who made it!**

Way #6: Make him wear a fedora

Tony was still red, two days after he had to pick up Fury's drawers. God, was this a bad idea. He knew he shouldn't have made him do that. Especially since now, every avenger, including Clint, had photos/ sound clips/ videos of the moment. Which is now circulating the web...and someone had decided to make a new meme to add to the previous one, and it had a picture of him holding Fury's drawers proudly, and captioned like

"End up like me and you deliver drawers"  
"What happens when you try to be like me? You end up delivering and picking up Fury's underwear"  
"I love Fury so much, I pick up his underwear to hoarde!"

Now, the media CONSTANTLY monitored Stark tower for possible evidence that Tony Stark, was indeed, gay. Now, Tony was very embarrassed and pissed. He was pissed the videos of him, the two recent incidents, now have beat Gangam style on Youtube, not even added together. And that the media were now badgering SHIELD too, meaning MAJOR trouble for Fury. And Tony would be like a snowman in the middle of July: Screwed

He spent his weeks hiding, and adding new ways to the list, his anger at the media and the other avengers, fuel to keep his mind going, to find more ways to turn Hawkeye to a platypus. Now, there was at least 12

1. Inject him with platypus genes (checked)

2. Strap him down and make him watch 8 hours of Phineas and Ferb (checked)

3. Force him into a Perry the Platypus costume (checked)

4. Pretend to be and see if he turns into Agent P(checked)

5. Get Fury to pretend to be Major Monogram(checked)

6. Make him wear a fedora

7. Make him eat flies or larvae or whatever the hell platypie eat

8. Push him into a platypus exhibit and see if he adapts to their ways

9. Create an alternate reality where everyone is in Phineas and Ferb universe

10. Build a device that makes him talk platypus language, not English

11. Follow him around with the Agent P theme song

12. Build the Platypusinator

Now, he would try to accomplish way number six: the fedora. Which he had an extremely elaborate plot to do

* * *

It was Wednesday night, and Clint walked into the bar, embarrassed as hell as he and the avengers walked in, holding instruments. That's right. Instruments. It was all Tony's fault. He had apparently, told the media they were now a superhero group/ JAZZ BAND. That's right. A JAZZ BAND. And they were to play at Tony's favorite bar. Clint held the alto saxophone close to his chest, trying to hold it together. The other avengers followed: Bruce, struggling to carry an trombone; Steve, a guitar; Thor, with an Baritone saxophone, only because he was the only one able to carry it; Tony, with a tenor saxophone, and Natasha, with a mic. He looked to her, smiling, but she returned the smile, as she set up on stage. They had employed Maria to play drums, as she had been a drummer for a band as a teen. Natasha tapped the mic, and Tony leaned over to Clint, and whispered "Hey, forgot something" and plunked a fedora on his head. Clint groaned into his saxophone, as Natasha started to sing "Alright, Okay, you win" and they played the instrumental. He had to play particularly loud, and together, the Avengers were actually a pretty decent band. They rocked the bar and left, with too many fangirls who were drunk. Unfortunately, Tony had stayed behind with Bruce, who to the papers the next day, hulked out, due to the girls trying to touch his trombone

**There we go! I actually play bari sax, and we are playing "Alright, Okay you win" and it is AMAZING! REVIEWS PLEASE!**


	8. Make him eat flies and larvae

Perry the Platypus, chapter 8

**A/N: Sorry again for no updates! I am just...so...tired...And I was humiliated pretty badly in front of my class, thanks to my science teacher...*twitches*  
Thanks again to the reviewers!**

**PercyJacksonTheAwesome: Thanks! I did enjoy that simile...and yeah, I do appreciate it when people add classical instruments..then again, Bari Sax is more of a jazz instrument...WHATEVER. And BTW, I'm starting to read Percy Jackson...MEHEHHEHE! I'm excited!  
Pergjithshme: I know...I'm in a jazz band! I am EPIC...LOL I'm not  
Kai the Brony: Sorry! And be prepared for the stream of memes that will come! Yes, Tony Stark doesn't make you do his laundry...he makes you do his!  
Bobthepegasus: Sorry for the short chapter! AND BOOOOO! HE WILL NOT!  
.WELCOME**

7. Make him eat flies or larvae or whatever the hell platypie eat

Tony knew this one would be tricky. And he knew, SHIELD gives training to their agents, to recognise poison in foods, if ever needed. And he knew, Clint had always excelled in that course...so this was particularly tricky...as he thought this, he heard two familiar voices passing his corridor. He wheeled his wheelchair (Oh and by the way...after the jazz band incident...Clint gave him two broken legs) and overheard Natasha's and the target's voice:

"So Nat, when will I meet you?"  
"Around 8...and no friends this time!"  
"You really think I'll bring Thor this time? He ate my food before I returned from the bathroom!"  
"I know. That's why I made clear no one will come to Stark's kitchen on Saturday, at 6...I need time to cook"  
"I'm getting a homemade meal? Ah, you must love me so much"  
"To slave over a hot stove, yes"

The voices stopped, and then he heard some things he really didn't want to repeat...as they could cause him to be ticketed for foul language, though he wasn't in public. But now, Tony had found a way to ruin the Hawk's evening AND accomplish task 7

* * *

Being extremely quiet, he tip toed, tip toed, into the kitchen. Natashalie wasn't there, she had left to grab some stuff, but the food she was cooking was still laid out. The chicken broccoli pasta bake she was making for Clint was almost ready, she still needed to mash the potatoes, to lay on top of the pasta bake. He crept up to the counter, and then inserted, one by one, flies, larvae and other gross things, into the potatoes. He hid them under the potatoes, and hearing Natasha returning, ran like hell out of there. He ran up to his room, and whispered "JARVIS! Show the camera for the kitchen!"

A projector popped out of the wall, and a small screen came out of the lense. Tony leaned back and forth as Natasha began mashing the potatoes, using her tones arms to mash the potatoes. Thank goodness, he thought, as she had suspected the black stuff was pepper...she and Clint both had something in common, they had the world's worst memory.

* * *

The best part arrived an hour later, as Natasha set the pasta bake in front of Clint. Clint kissed her, and then took a huge bite. Tony roared with laughter as the following argument echoes through the tower:

"WHAT THE HELL?! I NEVER PUT THOSE IN THERE?!"  
"YOU KNOW PERFECTLY WELL WHAT YOU DID! THOSE WERE DAMN FLIES IN MY FOOD!"  
"I WOULDN'T DO THAT! I LOVE YOU! WHY WOULD I-"

The yelling stops as comprehensions dawns on her face

"Stark."

One word, and the two suddenly made up, by throwing shurikins at the cameras. Tony paled, knowing they were after him now. He. Was. So. Dead. He quietly murmured "JARVIS...I give my Brony room to Thor...you know how much he loves Rainbow dash"

**THE LAST LINE WAS IN TRIBUTE TO YOU KAI THE BRONY! REVIEW!**


	9. Push him into a platypus exhibit

Perry the Platypus, chapter 8

**A/N: I am SO SO SO SORRY! FOR BEING SUCH A LAZY BUTT! I am...so...sorry**

**THANKS AGAIN TO REVIEWERS! I would've deleted this story by now if I didn't have you guys to keep me moving!**

**PercyJacksonTheAwesome: Thanks! And also, I just finished the Percy Jackson series...*TWITCHES*  
MyHornyMan: I see...totally. And yeah, thanks for saying that  
Pergjithshme: He will NEVER EVER LEARN.  
BobthePegasus: Yeah...Saw him running up main street...  
Kai the Brony: Wait for it...**

**And a HUGE thanks to Ira e Invidia for letting me use their suggestions of letting them make weird noises...MRHHH!**

8. Push him into a platypus exhibit and see if he adapts to their ways

Tony smiled as the sun shone on the Avengers. This, was the best, and worst possible way to execute plan 8.

The Avengers had decided to go to the zoo that day. No aliens, or or war threats or extra terrestrial attacks had been seen, so they decided it was okay to take a break

"But at the zoo! Really Stark?" yelled Clint, as he walked with Natasha. He was still pissed, and so was Nat. Yet, they'd never admit it. They were planning a better way for revenge then full out murder. Besides, Fury would HATE to deal with the paperwork

"Oh come on Clint! Ol' Cap here had never seen a zoo, and Thor wants to see some..."Midgardian creatures" Tony responded in a dry voice. Thor had been interestedly watching the monkeys before hand, then left when the monkey had decided to do his business. Steve, was meanwhile, watching the flying squirrels, and arguing with Bruce on how squirrels could fly

"Their wings make them fly Steve! Easy as that!"  
"But those aren't wings!"  
"Whatever, flaps, and they can fly!"  
"Bruce, flying is like...soaring. THEY ARE GLIDING!"

That was a small excerpt from the conversation

Tony smiled as the couple, Nat and Clint, made their way to the platypie exhibit. The plan was going perfectly

"Hey Nat look..." Clint said, and pointed towards the platypie. They were swimming around the water, and swimming happily at that. Natasha gave Clint a small smile, before turning her head to watch Stark. Oh no. He had opened a small hold to the cage, that a human could fit in. If one wanted

Natasha gave Clint a kiss, then held up a finger to say "One minute". She then snuck up behind Stark, and just as he was about to shove Clint in, she pushed Clint outta the way and in goes Tony Stark

She shut the door firmly behind him, and Clint got up from the ground, looking bewildered. He got up, and then saw Stark in the exhibit. Laughing, he looked at her and said "That's why I love you...you're so evil"

"HELP!" Tony yelled, as he saw the two make out. He rattled desperately on the bars of the cage.

"GENIUS BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY PHILANTHROPIST STUCK IN A CAGE FULL OF GOD'S MISTAKES!" he bellowed. Unfortunately, as Bruce, Thor and Steve strolled along to watch the show, the platypie turned angrily at Tony, and it seemed this time, his money won't get him out of this

**Sorry for the short chapter!**


	10. 10 Create an alternate reality

Perry the Platypus, chapter 10  
**A/N: Thanks again to reviewers! I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! I WAS BUSY WITH SCHOOL! I am a terrible updater...whatever!**

**PercyJacksonTheAwesome: I know...I was bored thinking what Clint would do, so I thought "why doesn't it backfire?" Aha!  
Ira e Invidia: Thanks! I promise I will use this right fairly and in your name!  
Pergjithshme: I know it was short! I'm sorry!  
Arrows the Wolf: I know right?!  
Kai the Brony: Me: CAUSE YOU'RE FRIKKIN TONY STARK!**

9. Create an alternate reality where everyone is in Phineas and Ferb universe

Clint walked slowly downstairs, to Stark's lab. Course, he had to be careful. 8 times, Stark has humiliated (or tried) to embarrass him by being a platypus. Most of the time, he succeeded. This time, Clint's guard was up. Creeping down the stairs, holding his bow aloft, he found him...in a backyard?

There was a house, with a glass slide door. A great big tree stood in the middle, and the sky was an impossible blue. Clint looked all around, really confused. They sure didn't learn how to do this in training. He walked around the plain carefully, holding his bow, ready to shoot, when a high, childish voice came up from behind him

"Oh there you are Perry!"

Clint whirled around, to see a kid with red hair, a triangular face, and a white and orange striped shirt. He looked completely content, even though there was a bow in his face

"I'm not Perry!" yelled Clint, holding the bow to the geometrically weird kid. The boy seemed completely content with it. But this time, he spoke in a familiar, genius billionaire playboy philanthropists' voice

"Course you are! C'mere Bru-Erm Ferb!"

Another kid, with green hair, and a rectangular nose, but spoke in Bruce's voice

"He is right, Phineas is"

"PHINEAS! FERB!"

An orange haired girl, came stomping out of the house, and grabbed Phineas, the boy with the triangular head, by the ear

"WHAT DID YOU DO TO PERRY?!"

It was Pepper's voice! Clint was saved! He lowered the bow

"Oh Pepper! Thank god you're here-"

"Zip it Legolas!" Pepper/Candace snapped, she seemed too distracted with Phineas/Tony at the moment.

"Pepper! What are you doing?!" Tony/Phineas yelled. The air around them seemed to be crackling "You know what happens if the alter dimension machine is disturbed by another-"

Their surroundings cracked, and fizzled, then they were in Tony's lab. Again. They all looked the same again, except these weird blue squares on their ears

"Being" Bruce finished. He tore the square off his ear, and he winced. Pepper snapped her own off, the dragged Tony off out of the lab, by his ear

"Completely irresponsible, you'll be facing an inquiry about this with the abuse of scientific purposes office.."

Pepper dragged Tony upstairs, ranting a lot like she had before, and Clint began laughing, awfully hard. This was all a prank! Clint laughed his way upstairs, leaving a very confused Bruce behind

**There we go! READ AND REVIEW PLEASE! I'LL BE YOUR BEST FRIEND FOREVER IF YOU DO**


	11. Make him speak like a platypus

Perry the Platypus, chapter 11

**A/N: Thanks to reviewers! I AM SO SORRY FOR BEING LAZY! AUGH! Okay...calming down**

**PercyJacksonTheAwesome: *sighs* Don't you hate when that happens? Ugh. I am so sorry for not updating! Winter holidays!  
Hollyleaf6: I hope you do love this story to pieces! Well...I hope you're not ACTUALLY in pieces, or I might be convicted for murder...Have you seen the Law and Order SVU episode where John Stamos is a reproductive abuser? And that knife..ugh!  
Arrows the Wolf: Totally legit  
Guest: Yes we are! In my mind anyways. If we were IRL we'd have matching lives..O_O**

10. Build a device that makes him talk platypus language, not English

Tony sighed. He knew this one would require help. From the BIG GUY. And last time he checked, the big guy's owner was not so pleased with him. He walked over to Bruce, who had been working on some "Defeat-The-hulk-for-good" mumbo jumbo,

"Hey Brucie!" he yelled. He slapped him on the shoulder, and suddenly, the substance he'd been working on had suddenly combusted. In English, meaning IT EXPLODED. Being blown back from the explosion, Tony hoped the Big guy wouldn't come out to play...

"So Stark..." Bruce coughing and wiping his glasses. This was okay. The substance had turned into a powder, and well, he swallowed it. Maybe it'll work

"I will not apologize" Stark stated. No way. He was frikkin Tony Stark! "I need help. Can you build me a machine that'll make someone speak a language that isn't their own?"

"What for?"

"Uhhh..." Tony stammered, and made something convincingly up about the inter-Stark cooperation with other foreign billionaire genius companies. Something like that

"Fine..." Bruce said, and immediately, he grabbed a bunch of broken machine pieces and began fusing them together, knowing exactly what he was going to do. Stark snuck outta the lab before Bruce could finish, which required the Big guy to come out and smash some pieces

"C'mon Clint! Try it on!"

It was the middle of winter, and Tony had taken the Avengers ice skating. Hilariously, Loki had come along, and right now he was holding onto the railing of the rink for dear life. And to think he was Johtunheim.

"No way Stark. If's it's one of your stupid machines, no way" Clint protested. Tony was trying to make him wear some stupid machine, that'll apparently make him the best skater out of all of them

"C'mon Clint! You suck, and even Thor is better then you!" Tony pointed out, as Thor sped along. He grabbed Loki and spun him around, and Loki went flying, into a bunch of old ladies

"And the devil finds the hindmost.." Tony muttered as Loki ended up squashing some lady. The lady was now whacking him in the ass with her handbag

"Yes dear Hawk! Come on!" Thor yelled, beckoning Clint to try it on "Unless you want to be flung like my brother!"

"ALRIGHT! FINE!" Clint snapped, having watched Loki be attacked by the old women. Ugh, Natasha would kill him if he did that. He strapped on the machine, with Stark's help, and then found himself asking what was so funny, every time he spoke, it sounded normal, but to the Avengers...

"Why does he sound like a platypus?" Natasha asked, as Clint growled in Platypus form about who knows what and what knows where

"I don't know..." Tony was snickering and holding in a laugh and an urge to hug himself. "Maybe Thor can help him"

"Dear Hawk! You have been inflicted with Grosunheit!" yelled Thor. He grabbed Clint, and suddenly, flung him into the air and a defeaning crack they all heard, as he landed so hard he cracked a hole in the ice "That should cure him!"

The machine broke, and Clint came out of the ice, his eyes deadly with revenge

"I..hate you Stark..." he said normally, before passing out. Last thing he saw was Stark taking a video.

**Sorry for another short chapter! Flame me if you want! REVIEW PLEASE?**


	12. Follow him with the Agent P theme song

Perry the Platypus, Chapter 12

**A/N: Hey guys! Well, one of my New Year's resolution is to UPDATE MORE! So here's another chapter! ALSO I NEED MORE SUGGESTIONS! THE LIST IS ALMOST DONE! HELP AN AUTHOR OUT! PM me or leave your suggestion in a review!**

**Hollyleaf6: I hope so! Or the police would be onto me! I always think that Loki wouldn't be able to ice skate, though he's a Jotun...XD OH THE WONDERS OF A PARODY!  
PercyJacksonTheAwesome: I figured he would take a video as a blackmail...HE'S A GENIUS, BILLIONARE, PLAYBOY, and PHILANTHROPIST! DUH!  
thewitchofthewest: I had a dream on that once, that I was standing there and Loki was getting beaten up by old ladies...I have a weird brain  
Arrows the Wolf: Oh snap, if you insult Perry's mom, you're so dead...I suggest you start running  
Pergjithshme: Plot bunny?! Get my gun. Its wabbit season  
Whisper You're Name: I don't know if that'll happen, but maybe the finale? I don't know.  
Kai the Brony: Wait a minute, if you're brony, it means you're a pony. And ponies can't skate...WHAAAA...?  
**

11. Follow him around with the Agent P theme song

It had been an awfully quiet day around the tower. Clint was suspicious. Things around here were never quiet. Usually, by now, he'd have heard a glass breaking (courtesy of Thor); an explosion from the lab ("Why're you guys not dead?!" Clint demanded Tony and Bruce one day as he came into the lab "Easy! We're too stubborn to die!"); or Nat pouncing him from the air vent (She's been taking lessons from him on how to climb the vent). It was just too quiet. He paced the kitchen, the Avenger's separate bedrooms (Except Natasha's of course. She'd murder him if he did) and the lab (which yielded from giving him any evidence of the problem). He felt like he was in a horror movie, like those ones with the girl is home alone and the lightning flashes and the rain pounds and she ends up getting murdered cause she asked the murderer "Who's there?". He hates those kind of movies! If they just listened to him, they'd still be alive-Oh snap. Sorry, getting off track here. Anyways, he grabbed his arrows just in case and lounged in the lounge area. He plopped himself down on the couch and looked at the shafts of his arrows. Just when things couldn't get any quieter, the lights went on.

Clint immediately suspected lightning. He left his arrows on the couch and walked to the window, and sure enough, it was raining. The sky was a murky grey and the lightning lit the city. Clint sighed. Usually, Thor did this when he was particularly upset. He wasn't sure why. Maybe Tony ran out of pop tarts...  
He went back to the couch, and found, his arrows were gone. His body tensed and his blue eyes flashed. He was about to jump up into the vent, when suddenly a blaring music made him turn

Turning around, he couldn't see anyone, but heard the music. It was spy music, like something you'd hear from James Bond. The lyrics began, and Clint's shoulder slumped when he heard it:  
_He's the semi-aquatic egg laying mammal of action,  
He's the furry little flat foot who never flinched from a fray,_

Clint looked around, confused why the heck this was happening...he wasn't making much sense of the music either

_He's got more than just mad skills,  
He's got a beaver's tail and bill,  
And the women swoon whenever they hear him say._

"Wait, BEAVER TAIL?!" he bellowed. He slapped himself in the head. STARK! It was all Stark! He'd been pulling these stupid pranks to get him to be a platypus, and HE HAD TO USE THIS THEME SONG?!

_He's Perry,  
Perry the Platypus!_

Clint rolled his eyes and headed in the direction of the music. He executed a kick to the supposedly empty air and heard an "OUCH!'

"I knew it!" he yelled triumphant. Grabbing the radio, and walked over to the light switch. There lay Stark, with a bleeding nose and a broken look on his face

"Dangit Clint! You need to control where you kick!"

Clint simply responded by chucking the radio at Stark, and it blared "AGENT P!" just as it hit Stark in a place where Clint would land an arrow if possible

* * *

The next day, Clint was walking out of Stark tower when he heard the music again. The one that had played yesterday. He shrugged it off. Must be a trend. But he got suspicious when he went out for coffee and heard the music play just as he entered. He got an emotion of mixed expressions and simply walked out.

That's when the street exploded into a dance number to that song. Girls dancing, guys break dancing! Women singing and men dressed as Hawkeye. Clint twitched, and his wretched scream could be even heard amongst the crowd

"STARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRKKKK KKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK!"

**And guess who's won the award for the most persistent Avenger? A Guidelines to living with the Avengers 2 reference is in here! PLEASE REVIEW!**


	13. Build the Platypusinator

Perry the Platypus chapter 13!

**A/N: I AM SO SORRY FOR NOT UPDATING! BUT I AM SERIOUSLY TIRED THESE DAYS! So anyways, I will gladly take the requests!  
Hollyleaf6: I will take that! I LOVE THAT!  
Arrows the Wolf: Ever since he got that arc reactor!  
PercyJacksonTheAwesome: HELL YEAH! I'M Taking that!  
katnisspotter713: MAYBE SOMETHING I SHOULDN'T SAY AS IT WILL SCAR YOU FOR LIFE!**

12. Build the Platypusinator  
Tony adjusted the dial on the box as he looked at the great invention. A Platypusinator. How he had managed to track down the creators of Phineas and Ferb and demanded the science of the Platypusinator, he's not sure. All he knows, is that Clint is a complete pushover if it looked like a box of chocolates from Natasha. He adds the note written in Natasha's handwriting and sets the golden box in Clint's room, complete by spraying it with a bit of Natasha's scent, something called "Dragon's fire". Huh. He'll never understand Russians

Clint walked into his room, exhausted from training. He had sparred with everyone (and tried his best to give Tony a broken nose) for training. His back ached cause Thor slammed him into the wall with Mjolnir (How he survived...he's not really sure. Natasha claimed he was too stubborn to die); then there was a nasty bruise cause Steve had made his shield hit his upper arm. It was now purple and swelling and extremely disgusting. And that's why he came here before training was over ("If I stand another minute with that bruise, I think I might puke" Steve had said as Clint was ordered to leave the training floor)

Throwing his bow aside, a flash of gold caught his eye. He cocked his head slightly, but being extremely tired, he wasn't as cautious as he usually would have been. He walked over to his TV set (complete with X-box, PS3 and a Wii) and found a small box of gold, shaped like a heart. In Natasha's scrawly handwriting, it read _"Knew you were tired babe. I got these from some creep at SHIELD and I can't stand chocolate, so here you go. Love you –Nat"_

"Ah, Nat" he sighs as his features break into a tired smile. He eagerly lifted the cover of the box for the chocolates, which he oh so adored, then he heard a small clicking, and before he knew it, he was consumed by a bright blue light

* * *

Bruce had been walking around everywhere, completely lost. Oh gosh, he lost his platypus! He knew this was a bad idea to let Stark watch the platypus, but still! He dashes around the tower, trying to find him Making his favorite noise, the noise platypie make, he runs around, trying to find him. Suddenly, a flash of brown catches his eye and he looks down to see a platypus. Oh no, not his though. His platypus had brown eyes. This one, had strange white blue eyes. Kinda like Clint's. He smiled and scooped it up

"Hey little fella, where'd you come from?" he asked, scratching it's stomach. The platypus didn't seem content. It seemed agitated, and then leaped out of Bruce's arms. Bruce was slightly surprised, but didn't seem sad about it. The platypus then began leaping its way towards Clint's room

"Hey! No, don't go in there!" he yelled, chasing the platypus. Course, it was an animal and didn't understand though. But the platypus nudged the door open to Clint's room and before Bruce could reach it, the platypus pulled out a broken box, with a mess of electronics inside. A scrawly burned note, and an ID card. It read "Clint Barton, SHIELD agent/Avenger".

Bruce stared at the platypus, before realising. Tony has taken it too far

Clint was now officially a platypus. Bruce sighed and picked him up "Lemme guess. Stark damn turned you into a platypus with the box?"

The platypus nudged its head up and down, probably meaning "YES!"

"C'mon Clint" Bruce sighed. He picked up the ID tag, the broken box and a handful of Clint's clothing "I know someone who can fix this. Let's get outta here"

* * *

Reed Richards was so close. So close. He was adding the nitrostarch concentrated powder to the mixed acids, which will create the greatest explosion of all time. Course, that's not what he planned. He began tipping the beaker...one...two...

"HEY RICHARDS!" A middle aged man with a purple shirt and grey streaked hair entered the lab, and suddenly, Reed's hand fumbled and then all he knew was darkness

"_THIS IS NYC LIVE, AT THE TOWER OF REED RICHARDS. IT SEEMS TO BE REED HAS CREATED A BREAKTHROUGH, AS HE HAS TURNED A PLATYPUS, INTO A MAN"_

_A sudden shot of three men being carried out on stretchers. A man in purple tatters, Reed Richards, and it seems...The building is on fire, as firemen work desperately to take out the seemingly endless fire. A newswoman at the scene begins speaking feverishly on what has just been seen  
_

"_-and __Clint Barton? How did Clint Barton end up in this chaos?"_

_The shot cuts to an interview with Clint on the stretcher_

"_Yeah. Stark. This is all Stark's fault. Turned me into a platypus."_

_The newswoman looks at the camera, completely lost and shrugs_

**AND THE END OF ANOTHER CHAPTER! Please review! I PROMISE I'LL UPDATE FASTER NEXT TIME!**


	14. A terrible date

Perry the Platypus, chapter 14

**OHMYGOSH, I AM SO SORRY! I didn't update! I'm a jerk! A COMPLETE JERK! DANG SCHOOL! I hate French speeches…o_o**

**Hollyleaf6: It always is. If I lived with him, all my failures will be blamed on him  
Pergjithshme: Thanks…?  
PercyJacksonTheAwesome: I'M ALSO TOO STUBBORN TO DIE! Yes it is!  
Arrows the Wolf: YOU. I LOVE YOU  
Kai the Brony: I'm pretty sure it doesn't**

13. Make Natasha say she'll go on some really awesome date with him only of he acts like a platypus throughout.

"Are you serious?!"

Clint stared at his girlfriend in disgust and awe. Was she serious? He looked to her eyes, those eyes he couldn't help but swoon at-Wait, he's freaking Hawkeye! What was he talking about? He defeated a Norse demigod! He jumped off a damn building and survived! Why was he so weak now?!

"C'mon baby. It'll be worth it. I promise. We'll do everything you love…please?" she asked pleadingly, her voice faking kindness. Clint knew better then to trust this tone of voice.

"But act like a PLATYPUS?! Nat, I love you. But REALLY?!"  
She took his hand and pulled him closer to her, placing his hand on her head, stroking it gently "Please…"

Clint sighed. He knew he won't be able to resist "Fine…I love you, Nat"

She sighed and wanted to fess up. That Stark put her up to this. She was partly on board, due to Stark being able to pay the fees of the archery range and the restaurant, even the limo. But she felt bad, lying to him like this…

* * *

In the security room, lay a Stark. And the Stark was a snickering. Why was the Stark snickering? Well, I think he is snickering, because he made a man, be a mammal. And if that man finds out, well, he'll be damned to hell

After the date, Stark had all the security footage he needed. Of Clint being treated like an idiot and of Natasha kissing him and always calling him "good boy" every time he shot an arrow. And the embarrassing part when Thor came along and smashed him in the head with Mjolnir, asking if the "Johtunheims" had transformed his brain into a "Katropsis"

Days later, Clint opened the door to a pet shelter worker, asking him if he needed to feel at home and if he wanted a "new home".

**Really short chapter I know. I'm sorry! But it works at least…?PLEASE REVIEW!**


	15. AUTHORS NOTE

HEY READERS AND FOLLOWERS!

I'm sorry, but I think this story will be on hiatus for awhile while I deal with a ukelele club, highschool registration and RP drama. I love you ALL AND I WILL CONTINUE TO TAKE SUGGESTIONS! PLEASE DON'T FORGET ME


End file.
